Our Days are Like Grasses of the Field

Back to Life - Post Blood Moon

Hi dear readers.

I am back with a vengeance.
Went through a hiatus - but feeling better now.
Lost a loved one and needed to take stock.
Moving on is the best decision that I've made in months.
For your amusement and my way of explanation,
I will post here the poems I made while on my "vacation".

Thank you for your loyalty and interest in my circumstances...

Poem 1 - A few days after August 12, when Bing decided to take a long vacation.

My bottom-line for this post - embrace life!

2014 - New Perspectives

The onset of the Year 2014 brought with it New Hopes for Old Dreams. As the clock neared the Witching Hour, I cannot help but look back at the year that was and look forward to what things await me.


Looking out the balcony, I can see a dark landscape being lit intermittently by colored flashes of fireworks. Soon, the countdown will be over and the gloom will settle in once more. There are yet things to sort out...

**********

Yep. Even today, almost two months after, these things remain unsorted, pushed farther back in the inner recesses of my brain where the daily struggle do not get entangled with them. Indeed, I am entangled...

I do not know exactly how but I ended up with an Executive Assistant job. There 
were many instances I could have packed up and run - but I remained... Actually, in a limbo because I do not even know what's in it for me...Only that I am needed to clear things...

                                                                        **********


Just look at the bits and pieces I put together from my recent job station...I had to provide some guidance to applicants because a lot were being swept under the rug. So, I wrote to prevent further demise:

Consider these guidelines for the next time you apply:

• Be simple and direct. It does not help to use my name to endorse. In fact, it will help to get you eliminated. The hiring manager dislikes endorsements, specially the undue use of my name. Only your samples will get you in.

• Consider cultural differences. Additional flamboyance or display of English proficiency will be taken as bragging, presumption or worst, challenging the capacity of the hiring personnel. This specifically applies to technical jobs.

• Once shortlisted, be prepared to wait for an interminable time to be picked up. Remember you are in queue, and many applicants are waiting to get in line.There is no guidance on the length of time an applicant is interviewed. 

• Patience will get you in the door and make you stay on the job. So, remember to cultivate it from the start of your application. Even after you are picked up, just be glad for the chance, and never express your pent up emotions. It will go down as a red mark in your record. 

• The recruitment procedure can be improved, but remember the "power of hiring" is in the opposite end of the dividing line. Unless you put up your own hiring agency, you cannot change the rules of the "hiring game".

For your personal development and success."*********

The roses I had received last February 14 eased up my heartache somewhat...

Ber Months Are Here

"Self-Conviction"

The sound of your SSSS
Leaves a long trail of emotions
In my mind adroitly slithers
Setting my heart in commotion.

Should there be time in store
Or less time for togetherness
I don't care for grief anymore
When every morning you bless.

This love is real that it weathers
The edges of doubt and passion
As days come we promise better
As days go we learn self-conviction.

Self-conviction strikes to the core of our being...

See original post here https://www.facebook.com/doris.cornago

Ber Months Are Here

"Irony"

Can you imagine the irony of me
Running after you and the struggle
To get upper hand in the scuffle
You give in most just for the record 

Funny you and me encountering
In this barren emotionless cyberspace
Laughing with derision at my inconsistency
Loving one moment and hating the next

Coda
Sometimes you confuse me, sometimes dazzle me
Making me mad, alternating with sad or glad
If you ask me this is rather silly
But I can see the irony - you belong with me...

Imagine your dreadful emotionless world
Not a Greek, but a geek, when I am hoping
For one as turbulent, I encounter a geek
A genius with no mind for turbulence

Tell me what's happening, you do the calculating
I like traipsing, singing, going my merry way
But you said halt, look, there's a sign in the road
Which says don't, beware, but free, go anywhere

Coda
Sometimes you confuse me, sometimes dazzle me
Making me mad, alternating with sad or glad
If you ask me this is rather silly
But I can see the irony - you belong with me...

You're the geek, but I am a dreamer
Who can know if our canoe goes adrift
Who will be swimming, who will be drowning
Neither you nor I, because that's a breather

I like being with you than any other
Because you make me run breathless
Making me know there's nothing more important
Than living for the moment, time well spent

Coda
Sometimes you confuse me, sometimes dazzle me
Making me mad, alternating with sad or glad
If you ask me this is rather silly
But I can see the irony - you belong with me...

(Inspired by the song "You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift and as played by Sungha Jung. In admiration of geeks and non-Greeks everywhere. See original post here: https://www.facebook.com/doris.cornago)

 See song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8VJnaiB6xI

A Ten Year Old Boy & Eternity

Up at 4am, I thought I would see if you are up, but there were chores to be done. Mom was crying in her room for dad - I could hear her. Back at this corner at 8am, I could "see" that you have fallen asleep, waiting. Reminiscing, I recounted a day late in April when we started "talking" again...

Me: How r things? Getting better?
You: Yes, they are! Clouds are clearing. Yet, not all clear, but I think soon. Maybe by this month's end I will  be more cloud-free...
Me: But no chance of ever meeting?
You: Once cloud is free, I will have a discussion with you about few business things. Then let's see. I will talk to you myself then...
Me: I can wait. I've waited this long haven't I?
You: You have.For long. Life just has its unexpected turns. And it had its turn towards me this time. But it's all for good.
Me: Just tell me when you want me.
You: Will
Me: I am cancelling my Singapore pass.
You: Why?
Me: I will not go to that country again. I was hurt too much.

This bright morning, I was thinking of you when the truth hit me and so, I wrote this poem. 

Twelve Apostles in Melbourne, Australia

"Prophecy"

A ten year old boy
Plays on the beach
Watching the waves roll in
He laughs when the waves
Splash on the rocks and
Wet his waiting face
He runs as the waves
Roll out again…
He never tires this little boy
His beaming face reflects the
Awesomeness of freedom -
The vast sea his playground
The open sky his audience
All around the expectancy
Of life awaiting fullness
The waves fetching his dreams
Rolling in and out
Unto eternity as ordained
By a magnanimous God….

What this means? Just this: we both have no reason to complain about our circumstances as God had already commanded all to serve our pleasure, as it is also to His pleasure that we undergo the circumstances of His magnanimity. We may not understand why or how, but our role is to trust that God is at work. As you have told me many times, if we find our circumstances deplorable, the reason is that we are not looking through the eyes of love - God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts!

Just wanted to tell you this, too: I could bear the interminable waiting but not the deafening silence...

How Much A Friendship Costs

Friendships should always be based on honesty. By this principle, I have so endeavored to maintain friendships on an even keel. Let us take the case of an FB enthusiast. He started commenting on my posts and so, I also commented on his. Somehow our friendship blossomed until I got him interested in "writing-for-pay". I thought that sharing a profitable pastime will cement our friendship further. I had to tell him of publishing costs which became fuel for a heated exchange of words:

"Please read and tell me how you feel. I am sorry that I have to add some inaccurate data to get his sympathy for you. So, actually, any token amount will be acceptable to him. So, whatever you can give, I will double so that our work will be sure to get published. I am the first author whom he did not ask for the regular $4000 fee to be published in my own name.

Publication online entails big costs and he told me so. It's a complicated machinery invented by amazon.com which enables a book to shoot up the bestseller mark by free downloads and right placement of ads in so many websites.In the short span of time (3 months) it took to publish my book up the bestseller chart - to be a "bestseller" is to be searchable by Google.

As there are probably millions of books of the similar genre and title, your book may just be buried even before it is "born". My boss does not keep the "fee" but gives it to keep me floating up the charts of known authors. This is not a guarantee of sales either. there are reviews that must be done by respected reviewers of amazon who rates your book as it pleases them.

So, it is a writers' jungle out there, and somebody stage manipulates the chart until my boss found a way to beat everybody at their game. He is a genius at tweaking apps. He never taught me this though, one of the tricks of his trade as publisher. The only advice he gave me was have faith in what he is doing for me. I can see the results as far as fans and pundits hit me on a daily dose.

So, there. I like to be perfectly honest. That should not affect our work at this point. If you do not want to publish at amazon.com, you can choose from a variety of publishers out there, but choose those without exclusivity clauses as you will restrict my share of the book. My suggestion is, try for the least amount of token but go for amazon.com as it is the most popular and most prolific of all book outlets as far as ebooks are concerned.

I hope we are still good. Just tell me what you think. I'm a big girl and you are a gentleman. I can ignore some uncalled for remarks and move on, if need be. Sleep over it and after that, we can work again or cease."

The rains have come. There's no way this weather can dispel the coldness and the gloom from settling in. Perhaps, if he calls and apologizes long distance? Then again, there is Skype and he is not even taking that free means to get to me. It was so wrong to assume he will trust me at this early part of our friendship, but then again, if he asks and I have to tell him - won't the effect be the same?

How does it happen that when you want to make a clean breast of a matter, you only succeed in making everything murky as muddy water, obliterating all good perceptions of a person? Words said can never be taken back and hurt feelings, though attempted to smooth over, can remain aching for days, even months. How do you mend a broken heart? How do you stop the rain from falling down? Or, how much does a friendship cost? There are events best left to their own denouement.