Why The Moon Weeps Occasionally

PP:

I was there as you went to sleep. If I told you I was watching, you would have stayed awake. Can we sit together as you were suggesting? We can -  both of us are game addicts.We will play games till kingdom come; so, how can we ever get some work done? We are incorrigible, setting our own rules, going our own way. Won't gods send lightning where we are to make us know we are mortals and must obey some authority? I feel deeply for you, but it will not hit you so hard as it will hit me. I value your life & will want you to stay safe. Please come when you can, and I guarantee that you can leave when you want. 

CDO is safe for you but Zamboanga is not, and so, I chose to stay in CDO while my daughter goes farther South. It is part of her job, but no longer my inclination. If I was not writing your book, I would have gone just for the experience. I was angry before, but now, my anger is going away. On the other hand, if I go where you are, I may not be able to come back. Is this something you can handle? If you marry soon, I will be an irksome presence. You will always explain me away. Can you always hide me? I do not wish to add to your heart aches, but you will add to mine if ever I try to comfort you by my presence.  I am content with only the voice. One thing, you said I talk too slow for you. Don't you think that I talk slow so you can catch up? 

Just try one call & speak to me.I will not ask you questions.You can ask me questions or just tell me something you prepared or anything that comes to your mind. I will risk to be hurt just so I will hear your voice again. I have Chap 4 but still polishing it up. Hoping to get Chap 5 ready too before I pack up. I am more excited with this book than being in CDO.  I really hope you can give me the inputs I need. Please do what you need done before you call me to Skype. Time passes quickly when we are together. So, maybe, to get work done, we should stay apart? This is so sad but that's all we can have. :( 

 I should say I am content with just the voice but you can't even give me that. So, how can I believe you can give me more? I am giving what I can with the time that I have, knowing circumstances can change anytime. I wish you happiness and freedom, but above all, wisdom to choose between the two.  Believe that I will be able to reach you even from great distances. It is my choice and no one and nothing will make me give that up. If you are going ahead, can you give me at least this promise?

Still long and slow emails. Sorry. I am starting to pack now while mom sleeps. Wish me well and that I survive whatever....